blackball false, truth!

let's go down hard
trying my best but i can't get enough sleep, say it's not right tonight i'm out of touch but i try not to rush and maybe it's not enough should i just control myself or let it all go? pretend that i'm safe i don't care who you bring i know i belong in here piercing my heart with a stake in the dark maybe i'm falling apart should i just control myself or let it all go?

last train at 5:52
you're so cold when i'm nervous! i'm too late and you're early! you're crowded but i'm not that into it and regardless we're both good with ourselves new messages no time to read them now you've got to go to sleep i've got to get up now no surprise you're just fine you're just fine with it! we're not dead when we're just playing you're not here and we don't care yeah i'm just saying it's not surprising we're not old yet we're just older i'm not cold we're so damn old why'd you go why'd you take somebody down i was red now i'm turning black you're frozen with your back on the track without words taking time that's what it means in my mouth no more words for looking back and it's off to work we go wash the air with red and black when this time it won't come back i just need to find some heat going to set my fire to sleep

i wish i were pynchon
it starts off with a screaming across the sky and breaks apart the entrance every time but i don't want to get involved and i don't even want to try because who wants to be resolved when nothing ever ends on time? let these words be washed away, you won't understand anyway! it starts off with a hammer that broke my will. i used to be at attention now i'm just overwhelmed because i don't want to get involved again and i don't even want to try i don't want to take apart these thoughts, don't want to end up back in line it falls apart when i place it next to you ... it's just my static process of complicatedness there's no reason left to pretend it's something else

the equity of factories
i thought i was wrong but i was right all along i guess kids these days have nowhere else to go cause the class that we're in isn't built to last and the factory sounds with broken down alarms but the market's machine can't pretend it's a dream when the fire in the hall burns down through the walls we need a chance to get away from it all i've got a fist in the air i've got a hand on my heart! i need a reason to stay in place and all the faces we know aren't hanging around anymore because they got places to go and better things to do! i take my place at the back because i know what it means (OOOOOOH!): we were barely necessary and our heart's all static there was nothing there between us when the dancing ended we were taking all for granted that our lives were there for us you won't be so sympathetic when you find out it's different

pretend like no one's here
it's much to late to think about when i can leave my house again unless there's something else will finally get me first! and take a different tact ... but i'm not sure i guess yesterday i started ok there for a while and i can't explain: there's something that just isn't feeling right here comes the part like nothing else we've heard before from someone else doesn't anybody see what's going on, or is it me alone? i don't want to hide away, i just want to feel i'm safe at home i think we know how this will end ... i don't think we will have to guess let's just pray we're prepared i'm not saying ... i'm just scared that's all i'm so tired of being afraid! it's not fair we have to pay for your mistakes! if we pretend like no one's here, will it take away our fear when they come? when they break through your walls? will there be anything at all remained?

no way for living
the sun's a factory and he keeps beating down on me, it's ok but the pay isn't so great, it doesn't make up for the heat, it's no way for living
i checked out just past five and now he's looking back inside. find out why! is it love?

everything you believe in is wrong
seal my heart seal my open heart along the edges are you still here? can you believe it when you're wrong? i've got a little space to fill i've got a big idea to kill i've got a pretty good file on you i've got a book i'm writing too don't waste your time someone else is telling me what to do i'm caught up in you i'm caught up in this idea who says you can't un-love?

things on top of things
in the black morning light my shooting heart tilts to the right it takes some getting used to my sirens are way past red on high alert, but we laugh instead it gets a little tiring oh but wait! my heart is a brick and made of brittle red, oh no! oh wait! i get it now you are the chosen one, you are my favorite son, oh no? at the time it made some sense we'll both fake our old man out i tell you i'm impressed with how we got here if we can figure out the rest we'll both make our old man proud they'll all be so impressed with how we got here at the time it made some sense? i guess i made us what we have left it's so disappointing and all the promises you made, we gave them back and you take them all away it's so disappointing so i dance just a little harder now cry just a little louder now hide just a little quicker now my heart steps a little late so i run just a little faster now lie just a little bigger now pray just a little truer now my heart steps a little late

say bye-bye now
let's just say goodbye now let's just wave goodbye now

i was a thief but now i'm a liar
let's just let it all come out i was a thief but now i'm a liar you can spin it in both ways, but it still comes out the same way we were hoping to be good settling less than we should i saw us when we were young i looked back and we were gone what happened to the kids? how did we end up like this? we were better when we knew we were older in our youth

knives chau luvs lcd
something is happening something is changing she used to be static but now she's gone crazy and i think she likes it she stopped pretending that he wasn't perfect but she doesn't know that he's only just looking for someone else she colored her hair and i guess i was there but when she finally got good i was half out the door so now which way do i go? i think we both know that this isn't over now she's turning on "all my friends" oh man! it sounds just like this! i know these canadian girls all too well it's been so many times that now i can't tell if it's me or them she says she's waiting for me to get home so i can let her in with her new boyfriend and i said ok! i'm still waiting for them to knock on the door they should have been here at two but now it's four and i need to get going! i should have known that this wasn't over now i'm turning on "all my friends" oh man! it sounds just like this!

tyla, these ducks are mobile
tyla, these ducks are mobile, they can travel through all stages and when you grow up don't let your parents bring them down don't let them take them away like mine did these thoughts are mobile, they can hold on if you want them and when you grow up don't let your parents bring them down don't let them take them away like mine did

friends & enemies (september 2008)

1 - let's go down hard - download
2 - last train at 5:52- download

motion sickness conquers heartache
i'm trying to hurry and i said i was sorry but all the rocking is making me sick
i know that we're running late and i'm just trying to keep up!
my intentions are good, so give me a break!
and sometimes i look back, but mostly i'm glad to be away
but i know i'm coming home
now i'm getting worried: the rocking's getting stronger and i'm not sure that i can stay upright
and now we're getting heavier and everything is turning red
and everyone is looking back at me
and i'm not moving now! i'm done pretending that i'm focused!
and i don't care what's next! i'm never getting up again!
ok, i know i'm coming home . . .
and now i'm holding up everyone!
and now i'm feeding off everyone!
and know, my heart, i'm coming back!

auks
we all know they've got it better than us
we can only dream where they can go and we must never look at them that way
because they all have grown-up hearts!
today i'm going to look away
today i swear i'm going to forget that every day is the same as before
and that i'm not jealous of their hearts!
every once in a while i need to clear myself
if i wait too long my body will fall apart
so i unfold my heart and release my sins
put it back away until they build up again
i swear i'm not jealous of anyone!

it's been a long time, sort of
outside the air turns a corner
underneath the water we are all being dried up by the natural forces
the instruments are silent as we all take our places
and you know that i am waiting here just the same as you
and if we don't make it home again, i'd be disappointed, i'd be so disappointed
anything you want?
there's a chemical in the ice we're on
and the meeting place is a frozen tomb
and the noxious air will mix inside of our lungs
anything you want?
just out of reach from everyone
and the thought of death is inside our lungs
we will dance together until we're buried alive
it's been a long time coming home

girl penguin, come back, goddamnit!
get up and go or unpack and stay
either way it doesn't matter, i'm indifferent
i was lying when i said i cared
i was trying to pretend that this really mattered
. . .
i was lying when i spoke just now
i was trying to make like i was apathetic, was that pathetic?
didn't i used to be ok? didn't i used to be someone who was responsive?
well . . . after this what will we do if my territory's been removed?
and the thought of death has spread through all of us and all our memories have been erased?
well . . . i'm asking you to take me back, i'm asking you to forget all of this
because i'm alone hearing the Captain's song and when he screams, "i miss you" i scream
I MISS YOU! I MISS YOU! I MISS YOU! I MISS YOU!

ice float
i'm an ice float in the middle of the sea
surrounded by a million others just like me
you should wait until the thaw comes
how far along do you think you'll be?

wingless stomp
come on you never stop and think about what you're saying
how come you don't look me in the eye anymore?
but you know that
i heard him say, "you know that"
but you know that
i heard him tell me that you know that
okok, i get your point, please stop i've had enough
but you tear me up, tear me apart

here we are again
when you talk of the world it makes a sound to them
when you draw in the world it just makes a sound to them
when we come out and play these are the only things i'll say
when we come out and play there are only wings i see around
when we're on top of the world they're the only ones we see down there
when we leave them behind they somehow still tether us to the ground
when we come out and play these are the only things i'll say
when we come out and play there are only wings i see around
you say maybe it's a mistake?
when we look at them we see ourselves but something less
when we talk with them we hear ourselves but something less
but something's wrong?
you say something's wrong?
because here we are again